bacon

I’ve eaten my way through The Ex before, but this year the artery-clogging consumption reached a feverish new pitch. Since the Canadian National Exhibition only runs for a couple weeks each year, there’s immense pressure to try all the gastric options, even if they’re gimmicky, disgusting or likely to cause, well, a gastric bypass. You’ve only got one long weekend left before the Ex closes on Sept. 7, so here’s a visual menu of the junkiest food we could find. First up is this year’s craziest novelty (shown above), Bacon Covered in Chocolate ($5), available on the Midway.

If you’re not down with this sweet-and-salty microwaved concoction, it’s always smart to go with Tiny Tom Donuts, a staple of the Ex ($5 per dozen). You can top them with icing sugar, cinnamon, apple cinnamon or chocolate. Watch the journey of how one lil’ donut begins his greasy birth, moves along the conveyor belt with its brethren, and meets an untimely demise covered in cinnamon sugar.

donut

The most bizarre thing I saw was called Taco In A Bag in the Food Building. For $5.50 they cut open a bag of Doritos, throw in some shredded cheese, lettuce, salsa, sour cream, onions, guacamole and ground beef.

taco

The second most bizarre thing I saw was Pizza On A Stick ($4.50, shown right), also in the Food Building. It may just be me, but isn’t pizza already portable? I skipped that offering and instead headed out to the Midway for a Deep-Fried Mars Bar ($4, shown left) from Jessica’s Funnel Cakes stand. Covering a chocolate bar in batter then dropping it into bubbling hot oil basically melts the insides and makes all the flavours more intense. There’s also the option to deep fry Twinkies, three Oreos, Snickers and a 3 Musketeers Bar.

mars

If your stomach’s looking for something more substantial, look no farther than the next deep fryer. Corn dog stands are aplenty at The Ex, both in the Food Building and on the Midway. Make sure you don’t settle for a Pogo, which is frozen and available at your local supermarket. A real Corn Dog ($5) is hand-dipped in batter and freshly fried.

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The secret to eating at The Ex is visit with a group of people, buy only one of each thing and share, share, share! You’ll get the greatest number of taste experiences and won’t be bummed when you dish out for something downright awful (for example, the wings at Dakota Wings and if you’re over the age of eight, the 99-cent spaghetti from the Food Building just doesn’t seem right). But every eating experience, good and bad, are all part of a trip to The Ex. It only happens once a year, so why not go for one-day of pure, unadulterated gluttony.

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